The Unadulterated Backend Story of Ed & Julia – Part 2

Ed & Julia’s Story continued…

The story of Julia and Ed – It’s been 7 years now since Julia and I have been together. I’ll have to say it hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies. We’ve had our set of challenges, like every honest couple but we’ve grown, learned more and more about each and grown in love more and more daily on a deeper level.

Julia’s made me and still is making me a better person every day and there’s strengths that I attribute that has made improvements in her life.

Moving Away From Tucson, AZ

Family can be one of the greatest things in life and can also be one of the biggest headaches. For those of you who have great families that talk and get along then you won’t be able to relate. But for married couples, one of the first things we learned in counseling was that when you’re married it’s just the two of you. A lot of couples have problems in their marriage when their immediate family members like parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, etc… try to meddle and treat you like you’re still under their roof living under their rules.

Anyone remember the show Everyone loves Raymond? He had a controlling mother that lived across the street. That’s kind of what we had going on but it was Julia’s dad doing this. My wife said it’s a Latino cultural thing because some tend to control their kids with guilt.

Julia would have things she needed to do for us and her dad would start with, “Can you take me to the bank?” This would lead to one thing after another to the point where she was chauffeuring him all around town like she was his personal assistant.

We have our own life and she finally realized how bad of a control her dad had over her to the point where she had to cut off ties from him because he was not only demanding with her but was very abusive. I had to tell her enough was enough. No one owes anyone anything. If she freely wanted to help him or do things for them than that was one thing. But nothing was to be done out of guilt.

A Drive To Albuquerque

Right before our transition to Albuquerque, NM from Tucson, AZ Julia and I drove to Albuquerque to bring some of our things to put in storage. We also spent the day looking for a home to buy. The next day driving back, there was a huge wind storm so it took us longer than we anticipated on driving back. Driving 12+ hours straight, both Julia and I were exhausted. The next day was mother’s day.

Her dad let us borrow a trailer because he owns a moving company. Normally, parents freely help out when it’s available. With him there was always strings attached.

We called her parents to let them know that we were driving back. Julia decided to take the trailer back to his yard that he stores the trailer at. She was one of his drivers for his moving company so she knew what she was doing.

She called him to let him know that she was driving the trailer back to his yard. He quickly drove over to where she was and while she’s reversing the trailer back he started yelling at her trying to direct her how to back it up. Mind you we’ve been driving all night. She dropped me off before she left so I was asleep when all of this was going on.

He then started some crazy talk telling her that she’s burned all of her bridges. At this point she’s sleep deprived and has no idea what he was talking about.  Julia and I talked about it and the only bridge that was burnt if any was the one sided one that benefited him only.

It was time to put a stop to this. This was not his first time doing his crazy business with Julia.

Putting My Foot Down

When Julia and I were engaged Julia’s dad hated me. We have no contact with them any longer. He hated me not for me as a person but because, I am the person that took away his “caregiver”.  If you know me, I’m the most easiest going person to get along with. Everyone that knew me was surprised at how he acted towards me. But in his mind, he really believed that it was Julia’s responsibility to take care of him for the rest of his life.

On our wedding date he didn’t walk Julia down the aisle although her mother made them come. It was a really bad situation. I won’t go into the details but after we were married there was no apologies and they carried on as if nothing happened.

All I wanted to do was keep peace and try to have a relationship with them but it was impossible because in his mind I ruined his plans for Julia.

I needed to protect Julia and our marriage. I told Julia that she did nothing wrong. It didn’t have to be like that because all she wanted was a normal relationship with her parents. I let it go the last time with her parents but wasn’t going to go through that again and allow Julia to get hurt. I told Julia that she was never going to have an abusive 1 sided relationship with them any longer. She wasn’t a kid any longer. She’s a grown adult married woman and those days are over.

Sadly, they still choose to not make things right and every time Julia’s attempted to meet them half way it’s always ended in them trying to guilt her into thinking that she owes them. I’ll end it right there because I could keep going on and on.

Albuquerque?

So why Albuquerque? Let me see, no 120 degree weather yet a lot of similarities to Tucson, AZ. Just don’t tell New Mexican’s that. They really believe that they are exclusive to any other place in the planet.

But really, my daughter who I raised in Tucson got married and moved back to Hawaii where her husband got stationed and her parents who we still don’t talk to ended up moving to Phoenix, AZ. It was time for new beginnings.

Flamenco Conservatory

The other reason we moved here is because Julia dances Flamenco (Spanish Dance). Albuquerque, NM has the only Flamenco Conservatory in the United States. Her teachers in Tucson studied at this school so when she came for the Flamenco Festival she had her heart set on moving here for a couple of years before we made the move. Julia has my heart so I ended up moving with her.

Addition To Our Family

It’s been great out hear and we were able to adopt the baby of our family, ‘Sweet William”. He was a rescue dog and was abused by the husband of a divorced couple. It took him a really long time to warm up to me to where he trusts me even though I would never hurt him. The husband of the owner would abuse him physically.

Fast forward to today, he’s actually feeling more comfortable and is now more vocal. He’ll be naughty sometimes and get in the trash but when he’s told not to do that once he stops. He’s actually a little guy full of personality.

Prophetic Drawing of Sweet William

We didn’t realize anything until it hit Julia after we got Sweet William. Julia’s also an artist who went back to college to get another degree in Graphic Design. She had another dog Buddy who she was trying to draw but for some reason, it just didn’t come out to be her schnauzer who went to doggy heaven.

Later on after we had already had Sweet William, she looked at the photo and realized that she drew him.

I believe God can use anything simple as a dog that captures your heart to bring healing before we even know what happened. She took it really hard

with Buddy and didn’t want any more dogs.

I was working late hours at the time when we moved to Albuquerque and wanted to get a

dog for her while I wasn’t home. She wanted a dog too. We went looking and nothing hit us. Then I saw a picture of Jax (now Sweet William) that she showed me. I immediately felt that he was the one. Julia felt the same. We went and visited him and fell in love with him. He was so tiny and undernourished. He wouldn’t stop shaking too.

He’s Come A Long Way

Today, he’s a completely new dog. Now he is free to be himself. Check him out below just enjoying a nice breeze blowing through his fur. He just loved it.

We’re so happy that we found him and he’s such a big part of our lives now.

http://nextlevelwebdevelopers-com.stackstaging.com/SweetWilliam.mp4

So How Did You Go From Food To Design?

I’ve always done webdesign. I actually got the idea from a few of our Hawaian food clients. I did some freelance business consulting and they thought the things that I did in my business were simple yet powerful. They also suggested that I share that with other business owners.

So after 10 years of Running A Little Taste of Aloha, I decided to take their advice and work with local business owners consulting and sharing with them my successes in my business as well as embracing the power of their website. At least 80% or more of my customers came from our website.

Julia’s Art

And Julia, she’s an amazing artist. She is talented in so many ways but I never get tired of watching her in “art” action. She is one of the best color pencil artists that I’ve ever met. Before I met her I never knew that it was possible to get that type of work out from color pencils.

I’m always looking forward to see what she’ll come up with. I love how she’ll take her talent and use it to help business owners by sketching an idea out for them and then transforming it into digital media for for use on their printed materials.

Tell Us What You Think

Thanks for reading our story. We hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think by emailing me at nextlevelwebdevelopers@gmail.com.

If you’re a business owner, freelancer, contractor, artist, musician, etc… and would like to learn more about what we do feel free to email us at info@nextlevelwebdevelopers.com

Until next time. Thanks for reading and look forward to sharing more again later.

If you haven’t read Part 1 you can read it here at:

Aloha,

Ed Fong

 

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